By The Light of Billions of Stars
                                © 2006

    My brother, Micah, walked into the Kingdom Hall with an ashen face. Without
    offering a greeting, the young attendant led him wordlessly toward a seat in
    the front row. Micah knew the rules. Except for my sister Cyndi and me, no one
    could speak with him. He wouldn’t have come except that Mother died on
    Thursday after a long struggle with cancer. She would’ve wanted him here.

    I watched from the back of the Hall, as I conversed with Sister Ada McHenry,
    one of Mother’s life long friends. Ada had taught Mom the Truth, as we Jehovah’
    s Witnesses call our faith, before I was born. (We later found out that
    generations ago Mom’s family had been prominent Witnesses back in
    Pennsylvania.) Dad never joined, but the three of us kids and Mom became
    steadfast Witnesses; all steadfast, that is, until Micah’s daughter, Lidi, died for
    lack of a blood transfusion, four years ago. Bitterness led him to begin
    questioning the Watchtower’s teachings and eventually led to his resignation
    from the Faith. From that point on, everyone in the congregation was required
    to shun Micah, except for direct family members and even we were supposed to
    keep contact to a minimum.

    My eyes fixed on Cyndi as she walked up to where Micah sat. She greeted him
    and engaged in her usual animated chatter, as if nothing were wrong. Tears
    welled up in my eyes. Mother’s death, coupled with memories of Micah’s
    tragedy, was too much. Foolishly I had agreed to give the funeral talk for
    Mother, foolish, that is, because I didn’t know if I could get through it without
    breaking down.

    Somehow I did get through the talk and the luncheon at the McHenry’s
    afterwards. Micah was not allowed to attend. Our beliefs do not allow us to eat
    with disfellowshipped people. This treatment is not out of malice but conviction
    that his eternal life depends on us disciplining him back into the Truth. I had no
    appetite and left as soon as I could politely manage it.

    I went home, shut myself in my study and pulled out the file containing Micah’s
    letter of resignation. When he wrote it, nearly four years ago, I had only
    glanced at it. I now leafed through it again, counting the pages. The letter itself
    contained over fifteen pages and there were an additional ten pages labeled as
    proof texts. Clearly Micah had put a lot of time and research into this. Previously
    I had lacked the patience to read through the whole thing. During that
    unsettled period, Micah had been upset, spewing crazy ideas. Yet seeing him
    today at the Hall, I gained a renewed compassion for his situation. I wanted to
    help him. I wanted to learn what made him tick. I could give my brother my
    attention for an hour or so, knowing he had put his heart and soul into what he
    wrote. I stretched out in my recliner, turned on the reading lamp and cleaned
    my glasses.

    Dearest Brothers:

    It is with a sad heart that I am writing to disassociate myself
    from the congregation. Having been an elder and pioneer for over a
    decade, I know full well what this letter means. From now on I
    will be shunned by lifelong friends who will refuse even to say
    “Hello” on the street. There will be ongoing awkwardness with my
    mother, brother and sister, who will limit their association with
    me.

    Over the years, I have learned much from Jehovah’s Witnesses.
    There has been real love and genuine support. When Dad died, the
    sisters in the congregation were a real source of strength. They
    got Mother through some difficult times. For that, I’ll be
    eternally grateful.

    However, my continued study of the Bible has led me to a vision of
    God’s love that is more forgiving than the view offered by Jehovah’
    s Witnesses.  

    Millions of Christians around the world of diverse denominations
    love and serve God to the best of their abilities, according to
    the measure of wisdom they possess. They have the same Holy Bible
    and many seek to live by it. We differ in belief and practice
    based on various interpretations. Too often we ‘awfulize’
    differences so that other beliefs seem extreme or dangerous. In
    contrast, the Bible emphasizes the need for love, forbearance and
    unity. We are never told that faithful Christians should split off
    to form a separate organization from those they believe to be
    unfaithful. How much less should we cause division based on honest
    differences of opinion.

    “Who are you to judge the house servant of another? To his own
    Master he stands or falls, indeed, he will be made to stand for
    Jehovah can make him stand.” Different views on God’s dietary Laws
    and the celebration of holidays were acceptable in the first
    century Christian congregations. (See proof texts below.)

    Unfortunately, as Jehovah’s Witnesses, we have taken a hard line.
    We claim to be spiritually superior— judging ourselves as the only
    ones practicing “pure worship” and all others as unclean. We seem
    to have forgotten that forgiveness and humility, not purity and
    superiority, are the heart of true Christianity. Jesus taught that
    we will be forgiven as we forgive others. By being harsh in our
    judgments of other organizations, we endanger our own standing
    with God and Christ.

    There was a knock at the study door. Still clutching the letter, I got up, opened
    the door and ushered Cyndi and Micah in.

    Cyndi gave me a hug. “I brought over a box of Mom’s old photos for you. I left it
    on the kitchen table.”

    I said “Thanks!”

    Stepping back she looked at me quizzically. “Why are you isolating yourself in
    here?” she asked.

    “Just thinking-- I’m quite upset by the way we, as a congregation, treated
    Micah today. We’ve lost mother and this congregation enforced estrangement
    compounds it--” Micah and I made eye contact. He gave me a pursed lipped
    nod. I held up the letter. “I’ve been re-reading his disassociation letter-- Have a
    seat.”

    They came in and pulled up two folding chairs in a circle with my recliner as I
    closed the door behind them. Micah still had not said a word.

    “How ya doing baby brother?” I asked.

    “Pain upon pain,” he answered, eyes cast down, shaking his head.  “Mother
    and I never reconciled. I always hoped that before she died she would
    somehow come to respect my decision.”

    Cyndi’s eyes got big. “Respect your decision? Are you loopy? How could you
    leave the Truth and expect us to respect--“

    I gave Cyn a stern look.

    “Sorry,” she whispered.

    Micah pointed to the letter. “As Jehovah’s Witnesses, we call our beliefs the
    Truth, but have you read my letter?” he asked.

    She shook her head no. I handed it to her, which despite a profound frown, she
    began to read.

    “I’m going to get us some drinks… Wanna beer?”

    “Sure,” said Cyndi without looking up. “Meanwhile, I’ll look this over.”

    I headed to the kitchen with Micah in tow as Cyndi began to read. We gave her
    some extra time by chatting by looking through a box of Mother’s pictures.
    Virtually all of them were Witness related-- Mother at the 1973 Convention in a
    jubilant crowd of thirty, each holding up a new tract, Mother at the 1977
    Convention in a similar crowd, each holding up the latest book release, Mother
    at the 1988 Convention with Sister Kriegmore, her Bible Study who got
    baptized there. Micah commented that her whole life had been an immersion, a
    dedication to the organization. He knew as well as I did that Mom dedicated
    herself to God, not to the organization, but I let his dig pass without comment.

    When we returned to the study with three cold bottles, Cyndi was staring hard
    at the wall with the folded letter in her lap.

    “All this makes my head spin.” She held her ears as if trying to regain
    equilibrium. “Why are we discussing this now? Mom just died.”

    “Mom’s whole life was the Witnesses,” Micah said. “How can we move on until
    we deal with this breach in our family?”

    “I guess you’re right,” Cyndi sighed. “We might as well get all this out in the
    open. If Mother was here, she wouldn’t shy away showing you how wrong you
    are. The breach will heal when you come back to the Truth.”

    Micah gave her a hug, then sat down, pulling his chair as close to Cyndi as he
    could. “Sis, I’m not saying that Mom was all wrong or that the Witnesses are a
    wrong choice in and of itself. What I’m saying is that we, as Witnesses, are
    wrong in our harsh judgments of others. We need more humility.”

    Cyndi took a long drink from her bottle. “We spend hours each week studying
    to learn the Truth. We have the Truth. We are the ones doing Christ’s work,
    preaching the good news from door to door. We prove it all from the Bible. You
    make it sound like there’s no truth, just a bunch of optional paths.”

    “Doesn’t it sound presumptuous for us to judge our organization as the only
    righteous one, to claim that God appointed the Watchtower Society over all
    Christ’s interests in the earth in 1918. It’s up to the Master to judge his house
    servants. Isn’t that what the Bible says?”

    “The evidence for the appointment of the one true organization in 1918 does
    seem rather feeble,” I agreed. “It’s one thing to see a tree producing good fruit
    and another to say it’s the only good tree in the orchard.”

    Cyndi looked at me with daggers as if by agreeing with Micah on this one point,
    I had signed a pact with the Devil.

    Micah turned to her. “I’d like to ask you some questions, if that’s alright.”

    “Shoot,” she said, steeling her face for battle and taking a sip of her beer.

    “Is it a sin to misinterpret the Bible?”

    “Absolutely! Jesus said, ‘It is in vain that they keep worshiping me because
    they teach commands of men as doctrine.’ Everyone was created to do God’s
    will and we cannot know his will without accurate knowledge of the Bible.”

    “Have you ever misinterpreted a verse? Has the organization?”

    “Of course, but when we learn better we change!”

    “Is your current understanding perfect?

    “No, I never said that!”

    “So, you, I, the organization—we are all imperfect in our knowledge, and
    therefore practicing sin?”

    “Maybe—But we have the ransom of Christ to cover our sins.”

    “That’s right! God forgives in a large way!”

    “Yep!”

    “Now then—What about others who incorrectly understand the Bible’s
    teachings, say about the immortality of the soul or the future of the earth?
    There are verses that say point blank that the earth will burn up in the last day.
    What if our explanation seems way out to them? Say we are right, but they can’
    t see it. Will God forgive them?”

    “Maybe--- That’s up to Jehovah to decide.”

    “Or say that we are wrong about some things and someone shows us their
    reasoning from the Bible, but we can’t see it. What then?”

    “I’ll confess to being imperfect. God will forgive me, right?”

    “Now, knowing that our worship is imperfect and that the worship of say the
    Baptists or Seventh Day Adventists is imperfect, why do we judge ourselves as
    pure and others as unclean? Don’t they also pray for forgiveness in the name of
    Jesus?”

    “They have way too much wrong. Besides they don’t change when they find out
    they are wrong.”

    “So you’re saying that God forgives only little sins, but not big ones?”

    “Well, no,” she said with a scowl, feeling cornered.

    “Bible verses are like dots. To get a complete picture someone has to connect
    the dots. There are different ways of doing so and they can result in different
    pictures of Bible teachings. One person looks at the stars and sees a Big Dipper
    and someone else sees a Great Bear. Both love God, Christ and Bible truth. Do
    you see what I mean?”

    Cyn’s scowl deepened. “I don’t like where this is going,” she said then emptied
    her beer.

    “Don’t you feel that we ought to treat others as we expect to be treated? Take
    changes in the Catholic Church, the removal of saints, like St. Patrick and St.
    Christopher, who proved to be historically inaccurate, Vatican II, the admission
    that modern Jews were not to blame for the death of Christ? Don’t they change
    their beliefs based on ongoing scholarship?”

    “I guess so—“

    “And when they make changes, we ridicule them for their inconsistency, but we
    think it’s great when we change things. Be fair. Jesus taught that we will be
    forgiven as we forgive. If we are hard core, minimize our own imperfections,
    focus on and ‘awfulize’ the imperfections of others-- what are we setting
    ourselves up for?”

    “You’re saying God will not forgive us our errors of our minor misinterpretation
    unless we forgive the Catholics?”

    “Think about Charles Russell, the founder of the Watchtower Society. He used
    the cross which we now understand to be a pagan symbol of sun worship. He
    celebrated birthdays and Christmas. He taught that the Great Crowd would go
    to Heaven in addition to the 144,000. He didn’t emphasize Jehovah’s name as
    we do today. And he died without repenting of any of these misinterpretations.
    Was he faithful to God? Did God forgive him?”

    “Surely, Russell died faithful to God.”

    “There were other Christians at that time who considered Christmas a pagan
    holiday, a long line of them going back to the Puritans. Russell reviewed their
    reasoning about the date being wrong as well as their other evidence but felt it
    was much ado about nothing. Now, today, Jehovah’s Witnesses believe he was
    wrong in his judgment on this matter and yet faithful to God, right? All this was
    after having heard the truth and rejecting it, right?”

    “Uch!” Cyndi moaned. Her face contorted as if she were being tortured. “You’re
    saying we’re hypocritical—that we judge our own differently than those outside
    the organization. And that we’re petty-- that we make a federal case out of a
    lot of stuff that doesn’t really matter— but there has got to be a difference
    between doing God’s will and not doing it. You’re making the two equivalent.”

    I jumped in. “What I think Micah is saying, it that there is a right and wrong on
    every issue, and there are benefits in having the truth--- but not everything is a
    matter of life and death. Others can be forgiven and saved, despite not having
    the truth on every issue.” I turned to Micah. “Is that right?”

    “Pretty close. I’m also saying that we lack humility. We should do our best and
    leave it to Jehovah to judge us. But we too easily equate our organization’s
    viewpoint with God’s will. We hardly notice how much human reasoning goes
    into piecing together our understanding of the scriptures.”

    “Hmm—“I said. “When we prove something from the Bible by going from one
    verse in Luke to one in Isaiah to one in Revelation—the way we link those
    scriptures is like drawing the lines of the Big Dipper? The stars are God’s but
    the lines are ours. Is that what you mean?”

    “Yeah, exactly,” Micah agreed. “In reality, we don’t know how imperfect we are
    or how much more Jehovah has yet to teach us. We can’t assume our sincerity
    and conviction makes us very nearly perfect. And I’m also saying that
    regardless of how imperfect our understanding is, we can be forgiven. The only
    requirement is that we have a humble and forgiving attitude toward the errors
    of others.”

    “That view has a certain logic,” I agreed. Cyndi just shook her head.

    Micah continued. “But there’s more than that.” He looked at us with
    apprehension, not sure whether he dare to broach the larger subject. He took
    a drink, than another, wavered as if he were holding an inner debate, shrugged
    and then preceded. “Please hear me out on this one, OK?”

    Cyn and I looked at each other. “OK,” we concurred.

    He reached over and took the letter off of Cyndi’s lap, paged through it to find
    his place and looked up at us. “I worked on the wording of this for a long time
    and I’d like to read it to you.”

    We both gestured our agreement.

    “This picks up with what we’ve been saying.” Holding the letter flat to capture
    the light, Micah began to read:

    Doubtless, there is, Biblically speaking, a right and wrong way to worship. But
    our study of the scriptures and sincere belief we have found the Truth does not
    mean that we actually have the full truth on any given matter. God’s ways are
    higher than our ways. We need more humility in our assessment of our own
    righteousness as an organization.

    God promises to forgive even the Roman soldiers who put his Son to death.
    Jesus said, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” If the
    largeness of divine forgiveness extends to murderers of Christ, why wouldn’t
    God grant forgiveness for the sin of misinterpreting the Bible?

    Cyndi looked impatient. “We’ve covered that!” she snapped.

    Micah’s face softened. “Hang with me,” he said. “Hopefully, this will make sense
    to you.”

    Further, if the largeness of divine forgiveness extends to unrepentant pagans
    (Christ asked that they be forgiven with no strings attached as far as
    repentance on their part), how much more so will he forgive those who have a
    measure of light, such as Jews and Muslims, who worship the same God as we
    do. The apostle Paul did not refuse to pray with Jews in synagogue and even
    offered animal sacrifices at the Jerusalem Temple. Early Christians and Jews
    worshipped together. Over time, traditionalist Jews expelled those upstart
    Christians from the synagogues, forcing Christians to hold separate worship
    services. Christians did not leave due to fear of being contaminated by any
    supposed impure worship.

    Micah looked up from his reading with a pleading look on his face. “What I’m
    saying is that having differences of belief should not cause divisions among
    those who worship the God of the Bible.”

    Cyndi shook her head. “Didn’t Jesus say that he came to cause a division, even
    between members of the same household?”

    “She’s right,” I said.

    Micah had to agree. “True,” he said. “Division does result from following Christ,
    but it’s not the Christians who separate themselves. It’s opposers who cause
    problems. It is written ‘As far as it depends on you, be at peace with all.’  I didn’
    t leave the congregation. I didn’t argue with anyone or promote my ideas. The
    elders threatened me and kicked me out when I dared to pray with other
    Christians who they claimed were not in the Truth. I can’t imagine what they
    would have done had I gone to a synagogue like Jesus.”

    Cyndi shook her head again. “How did you get so messed up that you imagine
    the Truth doesn’t matter?”

    “You’re asking how I got started thinking along this line?”

    “You used to be so zealous for teaching the Truth door to door.”

    “It all started with the case of Sister Flowers. I had just been appointed in the
    congregation as elder at the time. It was my first experience a judicial
    committee. Sister Flowers was accused of wrongdoing. She had participated in
    an interfaith wedding ceremony for her daughter at a New Age Church by
    praying for Jehovah’s blessing on the marriage as part of the ceremony. When
    she failed to repent, we disfellowshipped her, despite the fact that she had
    prayed to Jehovah, calling him by name, and even had a head covering on. We
    used Bible texts that refer to the worship of pagan gods to condemn her
    ‘interfaith’ prayer. But she insisted it was not interfaith since everyone there
    believed in and prayed to the same God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, Peter,
    Paul and Jesus.”

    “And you agreed with her? Cyndi interrupted. “Hold on a minute! You’re
    skipping over some vital Bible truths.”

    Micah smiled patiently. “No,” he replied. “I didn’t agree with her at the time.
    However, what she said and did began to open my eyes. Eventually I came to
    see truth in it.”

    “Sects and divisions are wrong,” Cyn scolded. “They are works of the flesh that
    we must avoid. You can’t be saying that the splintering of Christians into
    various sects is Ok. The Bible condemns divisions and sects.”

    “She’s clearly right,” I chimed in. “That’s the sticky point you’re avoiding.”

    “I’m getting there,” he assured. “We sometimes imagine that the true
    Christianity is based on correct doctrine and that imperfections in other
    organizations identify them as sects. But this misses the point of what a sect is.
    A sect is a section, like the section of an orange. Some may be larger. Some
    have more juice; others more seeds. But basically they are sections of one
    whole. The household of faith encompasses all who claim to serve Christ. Some
    teach the Bible more accurately than others, but that same Bible says we
    should leave judgment up to God. Sectarianism builds walls between sections
    and denies spiritual fellowship to those it judges as unworthy.”

    Cyndi shook her head in extreme puzzlement. “How can you possible say that
    we are anything like the splinter groups of Christendom?”

    “We’ve focused on the differences between us for too long and overlook
    hundreds of points of agreement. All those who claim to be Christian believe in
    the same God, share the same Holy Book, chapter for chapter, verse for verse.
    We even have the same numbering system for our verses. We all pray for
    forgiveness of sins based on Christ’s blood, believe in the same prophets and
    apostles. We all believe in honesty, chastity, reverence, love, joy, peace, a final
    judgment and on and on.”

    Cyn’s head snapped. She sat tall, looking ready to do battle. “What about the
    Church’s involvement with the world,” she accused, “What about the priests
    abusing altar boys?  What about self-glorification of the rich tele-evangalists
    and their money schemes?”

    Micah opened his palms, admitting she had a point. “Sure! There is plenty of
    hypocrisy to go around. No group is free from it. We have our hypocrites too.
    The Bible contains many warning examples of corrupt kings and leaders of
    ancient Israel. Those warnings apply to our organization as well, to our elders,
    to our Governing Body members. Yet, many devoted souls in all sorts of groups
    genuinely live by Christian morality. It is wrong for us to separate ourselves
    from others who serve God and Christ with a holier than thou attitude. There is
    no reason we shouldn’t pray together, just as the Apostle Paul prayed with
    Jews in synagogues and at the Temple.”

    “That was just temporary,” I said, “until the Christian congregation got on its
    feet.”

    “You won’t find any command for Christians to separate from Jewish worship in
    the Bible.” Micah insisted. “Not early. Not later. If we want to imitate first
    century Christian worship, we need to broaden our outlook and be less about
    our organization and more about forgiveness.”

    Cyndi chimed in. “What about all the scriptures concerning accurate knowledge?
    What about—“It’s in vain that they worship me, teaching commands of men.”
    What about-- ‘I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not
    according to accurate knowledge. Because of not knowing the righteousness of
    God, but seeking to establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the
    righteousness of God’?”

    “OK! First, these clear statements were directed at the corruption of the
    Pharisees, yet none of this prevented either Jesus or Paul from worshipping
    along side Pharisees at the Temple or participating in synagogue services with
    Pharisees. Jesus read aloud from the scroll of Isaiah during the synagogue
    service in Capernaum, isn’t that true?”

    “I guess.”

    “Second, the issue is not black and white. We all lack accurate knowledge to
    some extent. There are shades of gray, some lighter, some darker. To whatever
    extent we fail to worship in God’s way, we miss out on blessings and to that
    extent our worship is vain. If it were an all-or-nothing situation, then any slight
    inaccuracy in our understanding would condemn us.”

    “That’s ridiculous! God promises to forgive his faithful servants who love him
    and do the best they can.”

    Micah said nothing. He just smiled and leaned back in his chair, feeling that
    Cyndi had made his point.

    I leaned forward in my chair. “You’re still ignoring all those verses that warn
    against hypocrites and false teachers.”

    “OK! As we’ve said, I’m connecting the dots in a different way. And there are a
    lot of dots. Let me make one more point first, then well talk about false
    teachers, OK?”

    “OK,” I consented, but thought he was just trying to avoid the tough questions.

    “In Jesus’ parable, the one of the wheat and the weeds, Jesus deals explicitly
    with this question; how should we handle false Christians in our midst. He
    describes himself as a sower of seeds, who has planted wheat in a field. The
    wheat seed represents his teachings. Weeds start to grow in the field. The
    weeds represent false teachings. His disciples then asked, “Should we weed
    your field and pull out whatever does not belong?” Jesus surprising answer--
    “No! Allow the wheat and weeds grow together until the harvest. In the end
    times, the angels will separate them.”

    I stared at Micah with unbelief. “You’re saying it’s wrong to kick out habitual
    sinners and hypocrites? There are a zillion scriptures that command us to keep
    the congregation clean.”

    Micah sat up, looking me in the eye. “No, I’m not saying that at all with regard
    to conduct. Fornicators, thieves, extortioners are to be reproved and removed
    from the congregation. Titus mentions those who disown Christ by their works.
    The congregation is empowered to deal with habitual sinners in its midst. I’m
    talking about differences of belief. The lists of sins that warrant
    disfellowshipping, such as in 1 Corinthians, do not include apostates, heretics
    or the sin of misinterpretation.”

    “At least we partially agree,” I said. “At least you acknowledge that some sins
    warrant congregational discipline.”

    “Yes, but in Jesus’ parable of the wheat, we is talking about different ideas and
    teachings. The seeds represent teachings. The good seed God’s Word, the poor
    seed human ideas. Jesus said, ‘Don’t uproot anyone based on the sowing of a
    different seed, a different doctrine. Let them grow together until the harvest.
    God will judge. He did not say that the wheat should clear a patch of the field
    and keep separate from the weeds. It is presumptuous of us to judge others
    on matters of faith.”

    Cyndi shook her head. We both did. “There’s a lot that you’re overlooking,” I
    said.

    Opening his raised hands, he pleaded, “Feel free to lay it out. What am I
    overlooking?”

    “The Christian scriptures instruct, ‘Reject the man that promotes a sect after
    two or three admonitions.’ False teachers transform themselves into angels of
    light. Such men were to be avoided, as their words are like gangrene. Christ, in
    Revelation, says that he hates the sect of Nicolaus. The letter of 2 John states
    that we should not entertain in our homes or even greet false teachers who
    cause divisions in the congregations. How are you going to deal with all that?”

    “Flip that issue on its head,” Micah smiled broadly as if he had just belted one
    out of the park. “The one who promotes a sect is the one who establishes a
    separate organization. The sectarian is the one who divides and leads away
    disciples